Originally this started as a nudge from Narinda. She suggested that I check this site out and I participate, which I shrugged a little bit (apparently my commitment phobia goes beyond relationships), but after going through different pages and reading different letters, I realized my fears were quite… Inane. I finally got the courage to email Edren and present my interest.
I’m quite happy with my decision.
I found that, while not incredibly consistent, I look forward to writing in this. Whether there is something that simply comes to mind, or something I need to address not only in my head, but to address with words, I feel like I can do it here. There is a comfort level I have yet to experience with other blogs and journals.
I feel that sometimes, this becomes an entity in my mind I can turn to, run to with ideas, and beyond all else, I can trust this.
I spent my morning treating myself to some episodes of Coupling (UK version), and while some people think it’s a pretty dumb show, I loved it. Went to another Job interview and had a timing conflict, as it should be. I knew I was wrong, but they called and cleared it up, so I guess that works. And presently I’ve sat here at Bob’s condo reuniting myself with some amazing musical loves. Jason Mraz’s cover of Queen’s “Good Ol’ Fashion Lover Boy” and lots of 90’s music, since I group up on it, and absolutely cherish it. Besides, if I’m playing this 90’s flashback show, I already know one of the songs I’m covering is The Indigo Girl’s “Least Complicated.”
I’m still in my interview outfit (pinstripe pants, white and black checkered blouse) and trying to find a comfortable way to sit in this room, not only to enjoy the view of the ports and San Pedro, but to put myself in the simple mood of writing.
While there are some little nooks and crannies, little niches for myself, I can’t write here. Which is quite disappointing. I guess I can write here, but it never seems like it’s me writing. I feel as though I take on some elitist pretentious attitude when I end up here and I hate myself like that. So I lie on wooden floors, walk around the tower not wearing shoes, and find mindless ways to try to humble myself (at least in my mind, because that’s where it all starts anyways, isn’t it?).
I’m stuck in my head a little too much.
What was the point to this?
Oh right, my appreciation and fascination with the Undeniables. Wow, that was relatively simple. Now if I can write a couple poems/analysis/essays whatever it may be. Tonight is the one year anniversary of Soul Fire. 8pm, The Mirage Cafe on Atlantic and Bixby in Long Beach. Pretty chill, I can’t wait.
Badly dancing to 90s music (the only way you can dance to 90s music,
Kayla
Third Eye Blind – How’s It Going To Be [Third Eye Blind]
